Hailey Okula, aka “Nurse Hailey” on Instagram and TikTok, has left a family broken and a community searching for answers. Her story highlights the fragility of life and the systemic issues with maternal health in the US.
A Hospital Decision No One Should Ever Have to Make
Standing outside the hospital elevator, Matthew Okula faced an impossible choice. His wife Hailey had just given birth to their son Crew via c-section when complications arose. As the doctors wheeled Hailey to the ICU, the decision was made for him: stay with his newborn or follow his wife.
Without hesitation, Matthew ran up the stairs to the ICU and watched through the window as the doctors did chest compressions on Hailey. Despite their efforts, she passed away shortly after. Hailey died on March 29 from amniotic fluid embolism (AFE), a rare condition where amniotic fluid gets into the mother’s bloodstream and causes a catastrophic reaction.
For Matthew the question echoed in his head: “How is this even possible?”
Who Was Hailey Okula?
Hailey Okula was more than a nurse; she was a ray of sunshine and inspiration to hundreds of thousands of people online. Known for her kind heart and helping others, Hailey shared her life as a healthcare professional and her journey to motherhood.
In September 2022, Hailey married Matthew and they started a 2 year fertility journey that included IVF. After many challenges, genetic testing and emotional ups and downs, Hailey announced her pregnancy in September 2024—a moment of joy and hope for their future family.
But fate had other plans. Just weeks after giving birth to their son Crew, Hailey’s life was cut short.
What is Amniotic Fluid Embolism (AFE)?
Amniotic fluid embolism (AFE) is a rare but deadly condition that affects 1 in 40,000 births. It’s when amniotic fluid, fetal cells or other debris gets into the mom’s bloodstream and causes an allergic-like reaction. Symptoms include difficulty breathing, cardiac arrest and uncontrolled bleeding.
Dr. Kisha Davis, chief health officer for Montgomery County, Maryland says while conditions like AFE are hard to predict or prevent, many maternal deaths are from factors that can be addressed – inadequate prenatal care, no insurance and untreated chronic diseases.
The State of Maternal Health in America
Hailey’s passing is a harsh reality: the US is still struggling with high maternal mortality rates compared to other developed countries. According to provisional data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), maternal mortality went down slightly in 2023 from 22.3 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2022 to 18.6. But the disparities persist, especially for Black women whose mortality rate is 3.5 times that of white women.
Dr. Jeffrey Ecker, department chair emeritus of obstetrics and gynecology at Massachusetts General Hospital says addressing chronic health conditions and access to prenatal care is key. “The older we are when we get pregnant the greater the risk of complications,” he says. Advanced maternal age combined with rising rates of chronic diseases is a big part of these statistics.
IVF in Modern Families
Hailey and Matthew tried IVF after struggling to conceive naturally. Their journey was long and expensive, requiring extensive genetic testing and twice the resources. But IVF experts say assisted reproductive technologies themselves do not contribute to maternal mortality. Risks come from underlying medical conditions or multiple pregnancies.
Dr. Elizabeth Ginsburg, president of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) says fertility clinics try to minimize risks by limiting the number of embryos transferred during IVF. But the bigger issue is making sure moms get proper care throughout their pregnancies.
Matthew’s Grief—and Hope
For Matthew every day without Hailey is a painful reminder of what they lost. But in the grief he finds comfort in sharing her story. By talking about Hailey he keeps her memory alive – not just for himself but for Crew.
On April 9 Matthew took Crew to the park – a place he used to go with Hailey and their dog Brodie. Watching Brodie play brought back memories of Hailey’s laughter and her love of simple things. Matthew talked to Crew about his mom, telling him how much she loved spending time outside.
“It’s my way of making sure I remember the little things she used to say to me,” Matthew says. “If I don’t tell Crew, I’ll forget. I don’t want to forget.”
Why This Story Matters?
Hailey Okula died too soon. Women die during childbirth in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. While technology has made it easier for Matthew and Hailey to start a family, the healthcare system must protect mothers equally.
By sharing maternal health disparities and advocating for better care we honor Hailey’s memory and prevent more tragedies from happening.